Out of the woods, into the city

You say your heart has a rhythm
Well see you got your secret on
You say hey and nothing to hide
You and your secret life

Don't look at the moon tonight
You'll never be never be never be Manhattan
Don't look at the moon tonight
You can never be never be never be never be Manhattan

-Chan Marshall

Thanksgiving menu is decided

Kale salad with walnuts, pecorino, golden raisins, and love.

Photo credit: smittenkitchen.com

Pumpkin tart with anise-seed crust

Photo credit: Epicurious.com

Ginger pear and apple pie

Photo credit: justapinch.com

Never say never

Limbo (noun)

noun: limbo; noun: Limbo; plural noun: limbos

 

1.

(in some Christian beliefs) the supposed abode of the souls of unbaptized infants, and of the just who died before Christ's coming.

2.

an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.

 

 

Our relationship to music predicts our relationship to each other.
 

I can't breath

I've been hyperventilating and bursting into tears for the last three days. It's only gotten worse. #hopeless

There truly is a song for every feeling you have ever had

Jazzy baseline melody keeps the somber lyrics elevated just enough.

Whitest Boy Alive Figures

So much to catch up on...

...but I won't bore you with the details.... Okay, I admit it's been much too long since I last provided an entry on this neglected, orphanish website. Many details of my life have been forgotten and ignored. I always aim to change that with every new blog entry, yet consistency is still a hard-reached goal.

I tend to write when I have things that are keeping me from sleeping or otherwise being a productive person. What do you do when you love someone, want to see them achieve their professional and personal dreams, want to feel a part of that dynamic, and you put yourself out there, really out there, and for naught? It's a hard thing. And I'm struggling. Really struggling.

I've been told in the past I'm cagey and don't open up enough. So I open up a little bit...and then a bit more. Trying to be the person I 'think' I am. As I get older, personal relationships are much more complicated and cluttered with each person's individual histories and back stories. I have a ton of short comings myself and I am trying to confront them and become a more reliable and curious person. I need help and support to keep this train rolling. But I'm just short of derailing.

Hiatus #46 ends

This long hiatus of writing on Youngeffectual ends, effective NOW. I shall update thee on a few tidbits of the Rachel life. Ahem. This is a very abridged version for a blog no one has read in years. Work continues fine. Colleague went through maternity leave during which I babysat a number of projects. Construction has commenced on Vista Brook Park and that is going, well, alright. House owning continues without incident. I made it through the winter without any detectable leaks or major malfunctions. Garden continues to be improved. Kiwi vine is about to take over; must hack at it this weekend. Major efforts this year included: repaint living room, installed new 2" blinds throughout, dismantle ponds out back, extract stumps by hand out front, hire someone to paint the house exterior, bought a nice mid-century console for my newish stereo outfit and some other furniture things. Post-script: House remains animal-less. I really want my own dog, but I am discouraged at the cost it will amount to ($1500 a year for basics and the occasional splurge, $5000 if it lives like my sister's dog with daycare, a walker, pre-emptive medical care, and a lot of nice extras). The takeaway is that I am still navigating the limitations of my income as a new homeowner. Personal life continues as it has, nothing to report. Thought I had managed to reconcile with my beau from last summer, but that hardly panned out and we're both worse people for the effort expended. Family life continues. Newish nephew continues to grow large. Sisters are doing their things. Brother got married last year to a fine lady. That is all. I will try to write new tidbits. I've been experiencing some interesting things lately, and am excited to share them with no one (here). Felt weird just diving in, though, and wanted to provide a contextual update.