James Blake, Roseland Theater, October 14, 2016

That night is my husband's birthday, and I would doubt he'd be game for a concert. I will be there in my heart.

Tonight, Joanna

Tonight, Monday, March 28, 2016, at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, Joanna Newsom:

Pin Light Bent

Records to note

Warpaint, Warpaint
Deradoorian, The Expanding Flower Planet
Tame Impala, Currents

August, already?Up

Just before I felt like it started, summer is almost over. Wildfire season is going on and we're trying to keep smoke out of the house.

I managed to get all the yard upgrades done in August while we were gone on a trip to DC for Amanda C's wedding to David C. Great time! Randall and I had a pretty amazing trip. Only thing weird was the shower at the AirBnb we stayed at. DC is looking grand these days. It reminds me of the best days I ever remember it being. But it's like that everyday now. Wide sidewalks, pretty planters and bike racks in all!

The rest of the summer will just happen weekend by weekend. No big plans or anything. We did our camping in July before the fires started. There's a big fire going on on Mt. Adams that would have ruined our Goat Rocks trip had we waited to go til August. Glad for that!

Things down the road include an October trip to the Big Island of Hawaii for Randall's birthday. So ready for that! 

Work has included lots of things: Dallas downtown districts plans, Point Reyes Lifeboat Station and Lighthouse CLRs, Blue Lake Park Master Plans, and some other random things.

Near the PCT junction, July 2015

Gravel paths installed, August 2015

Amanda's wedding in DC, August 8, 2015

February 20 was our day

Newsflash: Randall and I married each other on February 20, 2015 in a civil ceremony with a judge officiating at the Multnomah County Courthouse.

It was a really special afternoon. Alexa and Dominic were my witnesses, Miguel Mitchell stood in for Randall. All involved had a great experience getting married under the radar, it was a first for all of us.

My house sold on March 5 after quite a bit of hand wringing in January. It sold in two days for $22K over asking. The new "slender"  house on 81st and Taylor closes around the 20th of March. We have done a LOT of work to get our lives lined up. But we are ready. I love him so very much. Just hope the animals are on board.

Minds in the islands...last day at 36.

Lahaina, Maui with Randall at a family dinner, June 2014.

Lotus, Kauai National Tropical Botanic Garden, June 2014.

I'm turning 37 tomorrow. At home working on a work report so I can take the day off tomorrow. I don't like the way 37 looks, but someone special told me today it's a prime number, so I guess that's something remarkable about an otherwise unbalanced looking, odd, late thirties number.

I have quite a turnaround story for 36. It started out pretty sad. I had a quiet dinner out with my mom on my 36th birthday at Castagna Cafe. My mom is great. I am actually spending my birthday with her tomorrow again. We're going peach picking and maybe wine tasting since we'll be out that way.

Christmas was pretty amazing on several levels. I introduced my family to my boyfriend Randall. We're learning to fit into each other's lives, and I really love it. 

We were brave enough to do a construction project. No one cried or screamed at each other (at least I'm not aware of). I'm very proud of what we did given our lack of experience!

I've heard from lots of people that your 30s are the best years of your life. They've been great *this* year. My early 30s were really hard, given the recession and feeling like I was never going to get a job or going to get laid off everyday (totally wouldn't have happened, but I felt the stress of it). Right now I am going to be cognizant to realize these are the best years right now. I am having new experiences all the time, and I like the way I am growing because of it. 

I have a crazy dog that is both amazing and hard. I am glad I am giving something a better life that he would have had otherwise. He might not have the best most engaging everyday kind of life, but he's loved and he's doing a pretty great job given where he came from.

Stuff on my mind, Monday

Home improvement chores:

Window sill improvements

Camping and hiking planning: Mt. Adams!

Party planning: barbeque chicken

So it's May

May is the growing season. Everything is going about 80 mph outside. This week Portland had temperatures in the high 80s all week, and as a result my house turned into a creeper house in less than 10 days without mowing the front lawn. Shit was overgrown and looking pretty sketchy. Today I spent 2 hours putting things back together again, and I gotta say it looks pretty tight out there (at least for the next 2-3 days). Spring is really exhausting - so much change so fast.

Continuing to dig my computer! Things are so streamlined it's ridiculous. I may never be able to go back. I actually use a version of CAD that is more advanced than my version at work. Still in the honeymoon period.

In about 5 weeks I'll be setting off to Hawaii with the family and Randall for a little adventure. It's so short, I wish I could stay another 2-3 days beyond the 6 I'm there. Time just flies over there despite the laid back tempo going on. I've never taken my partner on a family vacation before. I'm pretty excited and optimistic. I just want everyone to have a great time. Hoping to adopt the island mentality as soon as my feet hit the soft earth over there. Don't worry about the details, etc.

I'm really thankful for a lot of things in my life right now (love, work, family, projects). I want to keep riding this ship, and do so successfully and confidently. I have a little trouble with that at times.

Oh, this weekend my deck construction project gets underway. Super excited for what finishing it means in terms of making my house quite a bit more welcoming to groups larger than 3.

Computer = love

Randy just built me a custom computer. All I had to invest in it was a new cheap box, which was about $59. I am over the moon. It's really one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Plus, it didn't hurt that I got a neat bundle of new programs with it. What an amazing gift.

Wow, I don't think I need to even go to work anymore. I can actually work from home without program version issues.

Windows

won't you open a window sometime
what's so wrong with the light
what's so wrong with the light
wind in your hair, sun in your eyes
light
light

we throw our shadows down
we must throw our shadows down
we live and throw our shadows down
it's how we get around
in the sun
in the sun

-angel olsen

As clear as written in the sands of Cannon Beach

 

Someone very special to me ran along the beach with a GPS and recorded a message that I hold dear. And I may be the only person that knows what it says.

I'm home

I haven't felt this home in quite some time. It's uncanny. I hope things last, mature, and come into something new altogether I wasn't expecting.

Just for Now

20 years on a steady slope
I'm all out of hope
Never thought we'd come this far
No matter where you are
Oh I'm telling you that when I go
There's something you should know
There's one thing you should know

That it's just for now
It's just for now
It's just for now, hey
It's just for now

-Cloud Control

Out of the woods, into the city

You say your heart has a rhythm
Well see you got your secret on
You say hey and nothing to hide
You and your secret life

Don't look at the moon tonight
You'll never be never be never be Manhattan
Don't look at the moon tonight
You can never be never be never be never be Manhattan

-Chan Marshall

Thanksgiving menu is decided

Kale salad with walnuts, pecorino, golden raisins, and love.

Photo credit: smittenkitchen.com

Pumpkin tart with anise-seed crust

Photo credit: Epicurious.com

Ginger pear and apple pie

Photo credit: justapinch.com

Never say never

Limbo (noun)

noun: limbo; noun: Limbo; plural noun: limbos

 

1.

(in some Christian beliefs) the supposed abode of the souls of unbaptized infants, and of the just who died before Christ's coming.

2.

an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.

 

 

Our relationship to music predicts our relationship to each other.
 

I can't breath

I've been hyperventilating and bursting into tears for the last three days. It's only gotten worse. #hopeless

There truly is a song for every feeling you have ever had

Jazzy baseline melody keeps the somber lyrics elevated just enough.

Whitest Boy Alive Figures

So much to catch up on...

...but I won't bore you with the details.... Okay, I admit it's been much too long since I last provided an entry on this neglected, orphanish website. Many details of my life have been forgotten and ignored. I always aim to change that with every new blog entry, yet consistency is still a hard-reached goal.

I tend to write when I have things that are keeping me from sleeping or otherwise being a productive person. What do you do when you love someone, want to see them achieve their professional and personal dreams, want to feel a part of that dynamic, and you put yourself out there, really out there, and for naught? It's a hard thing. And I'm struggling. Really struggling.

I've been told in the past I'm cagey and don't open up enough. So I open up a little bit...and then a bit more. Trying to be the person I 'think' I am. As I get older, personal relationships are much more complicated and cluttered with each person's individual histories and back stories. I have a ton of short comings myself and I am trying to confront them and become a more reliable and curious person. I need help and support to keep this train rolling. But I'm just short of derailing.