Saddle Rocks!

Saturday night's festivities at the Saddle Rack in the belly of suburban Fremont, CA were an overwhelming success. The night almost got off on the wrong foot, however, when we were momentarilly lost in the large office park where the establishment happens to be located. We took a wrong turn at the Sysco compound and ended up going a half a mile or so out of our way, but no great error. We were hardly fatigued by the time we arrived at the door.

The large warehouse that IS the Saddle Rack offers a multitude of sensory offerings to please a variety of club-goers. As you walk in, you are greeted by the Beer Goddess. She has a large tub full of ice and domestic beers available for $4-$5 right away. You don't even have to stand in line at the bar.

The enormous dancefloor is framed by a central stage area (where the 80s cover band plays), a dance cage to the left, and a large video screen on the right. The video screen happens to play live footage of the people featured inside the dancing cage, by the way. Anywhere you happen to be inside the Saddle Rack complex you get a great view of women shaking their butts inside a steel cage. It's brilliant indeed.

In the back left of the warehouse is the mechanical bull and ring area. People sign up and pay a paltry $3 for a go on the bull. Watching a few rounds you learn the gist of how one is supposed to conduct themselves once mounted on the rigid beast. You can only use one hand to hold yourself up and you are supposed to wave around the other arm in wide, erratic circles to counterweight yourself as the bull jostles around beneath you. It's hard to believe that women in miniskirts are allowed to take on the bull, although they end up giving everyone a free peep show getting on and off (or getting thrown). One woman even thought she'd be able to ride the thing sidesaddle. It was ridiculous and she was promptly disqualified. Men on the bull tend to leave the ring cluthing themselves between the legs with a painful grimmace on their faces. Apparently, the ride tends to bruise those regions of the body quite easilly.

In the other wing of the warehouse is something called a "game room." I think there are some pool and fooseball tables there and people selling things like Club Nachos and Saddle Dogs for those with a latent hunger brewing.

The best part about the Saddle Rack is clearly the spectacular opportunity to people watch and people gawk. I declare, these people KNOW how to have some fun in the least likely of FUN places (Fremont). People come to dance, shake their butts, simulate sex on mechanical animals, drink terrible booze, and boogie until they can boo-gie no more. I guess Fremonters don't live those sleepy little existences that I assumed they did. Why would they when they have the diversions of the legendary Saddle Rack in their backyard?

The end of the night was wrapped up at the Hawthorn Suites where 14 of us slept in two hotel rooms. It was quaint indeed, and only $17 a head which included a continental breakfast in the lobby.