I've about had enough of doctors. I deal with doctors and the associated staff that goes with them way too much in my life. I don't like clinics and I dislike hospitals even more. These people thrive these aforementioned places. Therefore, the collision of world views is always likely when I show up for my appointments.
I have a medical condition which requires me to tell the doctor everytime I have an appointment (once every 3 months or so) the inane details of my everyday eating and exercising habits. It's such a damn bore. And ususally the end result of this parroting of information is exactly the same:
"Well, from what you told me, I can't really see a pattern in your eating and exercise that explains some of the problems you've been having..."
Ah, yes, just as I suspected. Nada zilch. I just spent 5 minutes telling him when and what I've eaten for breakfast since last Sunday (yogurt, yogurt, fruit, cottage cheese, bran cereal....so exciting and mysterious!) and he cannot solve the mysteries of my physical ailments. Hmm, I'm so NOT surprised! The next appointment I should just mix it up for kicks and relate the following list of breakfast food items:
Pork chop with country gravy. Buttered white toast - 8 pieces.
A few ropes of licorice. It's easy to carry in my pocket on the way to school.
A Wendy's Frosty - chocolate soft serve in a cup. What size? There is only one size, doc!
3 eggs sunny side up, tabasco, and a hefty portion of cheese grits. Did I forget the sausage links?
Trix cereal combined with Fiber One. I pay attention to my fiber intake religiously.
This would probably bring delight to Doc's eyes. I can see it now. He'd actually have something to tell me that makes sense. However, things as they presently are, he has a hard time telling me my dietary choices need drastic changes.
Doc always thinks he has the silver bullet. It's ridiculous:
"Oh, so how much red meat do you eat?"
"I eat red meat once a month. The only other meats I eat are fish and chicken, never fried."
"Hmm. Because red meat isn't good to eat for someone like yourself."
"Yeah, I know. That's why I don't eat it."
Last month he referred me to go to see Doc 2 at UCSF. I took the referral and made the appointment. Doc 2 and his medical fellow reviewed my situation and proposed some medication changes. I take their advice seriously because they work in a specialty clinic and people like me are the only people they deal with every day. Doc 2 is easy going, communicative, unoppressive, and isn't looking for silver bullets. I implement medication changes immediately. Situation improves slightly.
I went back to first Doc for a followup today and he tells me that Doc 2's suggestions aren't going to do anything for me, and what's more, may make things worse! He seems pretty smitten. I spend about 30 minutes trying to justify Doc 2's reasonings for the medication changes. Doc doesn't seem to be convinced. Doc suggests more lab tests, ones that require me to fast for 12-15 hours and get a intra-muscular injection that releases some kind of catalyst agent into my blood. Wow, that sounds FUN. Sign me up!
This is Berkeley. I really should invest some time finding some naturopathic doctor to buffer the wrath of Doc I must endure. He'd probably have something to say about it, though.
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